Morning Ritual

Waking to pain radiating from area’s you didn’t even know existed, slowly roll over and stand up, your feet hit the floor and snap crackle pop fills the morning air.   Slowly climb your way to the kitchen, open the fridge nothing, freezer um no to the pizza bites, instant replay of the previous morning of those coming back up, ugh, into the pantry, then the stand alone freezer.  Damn we really need to stop talking about groceries and go buy some give up and grab the box of captain crunch.  Not good ur body needs more nutrients but the pain is overwhelming need to take meds and need something on the stomach.  Slowly back down the stairs holding on the rail hoping that you don’t lose traction on the last couple of steps.  Grab the blanket from the bed room, drink from the fridge and sit down at the computer, grab the remote and turn tv to criminal minds.  Damn have to get back up one of the pill bottle’s is empty to the medicine cabinet then back, staring at 9 pills, take them all at once.  Pain still shooting up from ur finger tips, pain radiating around ur wrist other pains that can’t really be described.  Forty five minutes past still pain, damn when I am I going to learn that I need to take to pills for the break thru pain especially in the morning.  It usually takes till at least noon before 90% of the pain is under control.  This is my typical morning. 

I need to buckle down and implement what my body needs and not what my brain wants some times.  The biggest issue is basically everyone’s MONEY, a staple meal that gives me energy and is good for me is smoked salmon and either a bowl of mac & cheese or cream of corn.  The smoked salmon has to be a particular one from Food Lion, trust me I tried passing off others and my stomach wasn’t having any of that, problem is its hard to get and $5 a pack…ugh.  I need to increase my calories to 1500 cause right now I get like 500 from food a day if I am lucky.  After the meds kicked in went back upstairs to cook a bake potato got about 6 bites and that was all she wrote.  To ensure it wouldn’t come back up meant a mini 20 minute nap as the increased pain pills make me sleepy as well.   Switched back to the Cymbalta that seems to be helping with the increased back pain that started but the spine still hurts when you touch it or rub it against something.  Tomorrow I will go and talk to the Rheumatologist and get my scan but I have a feeling my tummy isn’t going to be happy with the contrast.