It has been a crazy ride trying to adjust to a new
combination of drugs once you think yes finally a routine, it gets blown out of
the water. For a while 12 hours up 12
hours a sleep was the routine up and night and asleep in the day time, then
sudden you’re no longer sleepy and end up staying up a day and sleeping 2
days. Then it seems back on a somewhat
normal schedule getting up at noon, and bad before midnight. On top of that I have to eat before I go to bed. Yes before, I can't sleep unless I have a full stomach, food equals bedtime, strange I know what can I say.
At my last appointment we discussed the possible need to get
my nerves tested because some of the issues I am having in nerve related. Then it was just an irritation but the latest
problem pain medication doesn’t even touch it, lower back pain with shooting
pain down the legs when walking and standing.
Before it would do it when I first woke up and went away once I got
moving not anymore, I thought I was going to die when we went to the State
Fair. Nerve pain shooting down, legs heavy,
if I pressed certain spots on my side/back basically I think I was pressing on
the nerve the pain stopped. I had to
take a seat while Carrie got some money out of the cash machine. Got up didn't hurt 10 steps later and the tightness
started again, rotating between left and right then both and heavy feeling. Hoping it will disappear as mysteriously as
it appeared, if it doesn’t improve by the end of this week then I will have to
email the doctor.
My lungs are also acting up had some wheezing and crackling
on my last visit you can hear the funny sounds while I am breathing. When I cough you can hear the wetness/fluids
whatever the hell is in there, knowing my luck problem walking pneumonia trying
to make another come back. I would
rather have that and not the cancer; I guess we will get the answer at the end
of the month. Unscheduled nose bleeds
have also been on the daily or every other day, which can take up to an hour to
stop. Swelling is still a major issue hands and feet some pain in what feels like my bones. I have a scan date of November 29th,
I also need to reschedule some appointments particular my annual visit with the
GYN especially due to the location of the current pain. I may just see if I can get into to see her
earlier.
Funny how I have no pain sitting down, got two pillows
behind my back, a chair pulled up close since my chair can no longer recline
with my laptop sitting on it. Wide
awake only got maybe 2 to 3 hours of sleep, woke up repeatedly to pee,
increased the water to see if that would help.
Yeah that helped all right hiccups and upchucked the water, the stomach
was having none of that water crap. As
usual no appetite, no hunger pains, have to force myself to eat, it is hard
since my taste buds have changed and some are gone, no fun eating if you can’t
taste it. Carrie laughs since my main
food has been the beer sausage, and mac and cheese I eat it because I can taste
it. Right now I am eating the vegetable
soup Carrie made yesterday, the pepper is a little strong if though she barley
put in any but certain buds are super sensitive.
I have also had nerve pain and muscle spasms on my left arm,
several times I have pushed up off my bed using that arm only to have a burning
sensation go from the tip of my fingers to the middle of my pectoral muscle
which would then spasm. The whole back
is sore, being trying to make sure I am sitting and walking proper, no
slouching to see if that helps any. Once
it hits 9 am I have to do some errands and get some exercise in, which means
window shopping, an attempt to make a couple laps of the Cary Mall, and hit
some big lots. On the hunt for the
elusive He Man for my cohorts in crime down in J’ville, also on the hunt to the
other half of the Ghostbuster Team.
I have made significant progress on the interior of my RV
that I have been remodeling, no its not a real RV, it is my mini me (Barbie)
RV. Still trying to figure out exactly
how I want to paint the exterior, also got to figure out the dash what I want
to add and how to do it. I will be
posting updates and pictures on my miniature blog.
Drawing, Sewing, Painting, Sculptures Art, Crafts, Imagination
and reading have always played a major role in both my sister and me. Our mother was all about expressing our
selves through art, I remember sitting at my wooden table (which I still have
and Skylar has been eyeing) playing with finger paint. I have a vague memory
about finger painting at 2 and getting more on myself than the paper. Needless
to say I ended up getting an 2 in 1 easel and chalk board, and my happy butt
was on the patio with my wooden table and easel, finger paint, water colors,
markers you name I used it and gots lots on me.
Most kids know would get in trouble for what was normal when my sister
and I grew up.
I can tell you I would
have already been suspended from school, hell my mom probably would have home
schooled us, because of ADHD, which we had or should I say still have. But instead of medication my mom channeled
that energy into constructive things; she actually took the time to be a parent
unlike many it seems now. Instead of
trying to figure out what will work and benefit the child they are instead doped
up. It is a shame cause creativity and imagination
is becoming a lost art to today’s kids especially those under 21.
Growing up my first miniature was my 1/87 HO train set, than
my ¼ scale dollhouse, then my 1/12 scale dollhouse, and then 1/6
Barbie/Gi-Joe/Fashion Dolls/Playscale.
The latter being the largest scale which is the scale I am spending a
bulk of my time right now working on. I
hope to get my train back up and running once I get Heidi’s Imagination Station
set up. The dolls I collector aren’t in
boxes, (a few are but the majority aren't). I like to customize meaning taking heads off putting on different
bodies, making custom clothing and remodeling vehicles, furniture and houses. It is amazing what everyday objects you can turn into a use for various scales.
Thank-full I was raised well rounded meaning I not only
learned the girly stuff like cooking & cleaning, I also learned how to use
a hammer, drill, saws, etc. While dad
was fixing or building something at home, I was right behind with my tool belt
using scraps to build stuff. Built a
dollhouse for my gi-joe, wonder whatever happened to it? That was a cool ass house, built a boat, actually
made a sold one of my sculptures in high school made of scrap.
Why I am talking about hobbies because I have joined my
Uncles many of whom are on the same medications I am in the world of semi or
full retired. My hobbies are my new escape from reality, and
there is no schedule I rise, sleep and eat on fluid schedule that is always changing. From what I have observed Humphrey’s especially
the girls are night owls, almost everyone has night jobs. This works good for my since the sun and I
are no longer on talking terms. I have
on and off again relationship with the light bulbs depending on that type and how
bright.
I am officially on Short Term Disability, and with how
things have been unfolding the last couple of months, Long Term is becoming
more of a reality. If you would have
asked me 10 years ago where I planned to be in my mid 30’s, working in my toy
shop would not have even been a blimp on the radar unless I had won the lotto. On the bright side the all have power tools,
wood and many other things laying around that can be made into something.
I lot of hard decisions have been presented to me over the last couple of months, and even more decisions need to be made. This month I will be finding out when we have
to give noticed of moving out of our apartment, my sister will be getting a
smaller up here, while I will move back to J’ville for now. It appears I already qualify for long term disability, so the question of resigning position or waiting in case a miracle happens? I was told I could resign my position now and get a payout of money from sick and vacation, then my paycheck would be 50%. I will have to set up another meeting with my case worker to talk that over again to make sure I understand correctly. I really don't want to but, money wise/financially I need the money for my bills and to get the bathroom in my new pad done. Way too many tough decisions, really need to plan an escape to the mountains, Dollywood and Gatlinburg.
The way I see it my second childhood since I will be
spending weekends with some crazy ass pre-teen and teenage 2nd
cousins. Someone has got to show them
how to effectively use there imagination and tap into that creativity that runs
in the family. Movie marathons with my
cohorts in crime, it has been a while since are last Harry Potterathon, we
really need to do a Halloween Marathon.
My plan was to drive both cars down but at this rate I will be a passenger
this week as we go down to spend Halloween at home.
