Pain & Money

Oh my god someone needs to shot me, why did I get out of bed, oh because my body was hurting.  Only got 4 hours of sleep but strangely my body doesn’t feel exhausted but damn if it doesn’t hurt like bloody hell…..Yeah it’s even worse now sitting down, forget about walking because yeah that isn’t fun either.  Already took my pills had to add back fish oil and Vitamin D, had to stop taking it a while back because my system couldn’t take all the pills.  But my ONC wants to try it again in an attempt to get the inflammation and fatigue under control, even though Salmon, Tuna, & Tulipa are part of main diet, (which gets expensive especially the Salmon, the smoked kind sold in the pack) and the fact I am chugging milk.  I think I might be starting to get some lactose intolerant because damn if I don’t get gassy as hell shortly after drinking some milk, but here is the kicker my body is craving my digestive system isn’t to keen on it.  Let’s be honest my digestive system is too keen on anything at the moment, it is tight, feels like the organs are been squeezed, and that I was on the wrong end of a fight and repeatedly kicked in the side.

Oh finally comfortable, sitting in my lazyboy at my desktop, just added three pillows to the back giving a little relief, I need to find one more pillow might have to crawl upstairs and raid my sisters room.  As soon as the drugs kick in, I will roll the back out with softball and then google to find a massage therapist since I have a prescription.  My onc didn’t know the medical code for Sjogren’s so she put breast cancer, “Um yeah not sure if this will fly with ur insurance” hey doc um ur slacking u should know by now the code for Sjogren’s since u guys are blaming it for everything, lol. 

As if I didn’t have enough doctor’s more and more are adding I am finally reading the book I purchased a while ago called The Sjogren’s Syndrome Survival guide. It is providing some relief that I am not going fucking crazy and now know what is causing the different issues I am having.  Everything is always pretexted not everyone will get these, that has YET TO APPLY TO ME, close to everything is happening.  I need to make an appointment with my ENT to get this gland checked out that is constantly swollen, a dentist appointment as well, which I am dreading because root canal or teeth pulling always happen. Thanks to Sjogren the gift that keeps giving. 

Break….more medical pharmacy run…food…7 loads of laundry…return…..food. Thank god of tax returns stock piling some items to get me thru the semester.  I really didn’t realize how much medicine was costing till I did the taxes, I now have a notebook to keep daily track of medical expenses, especially with the upcoming appointments.  Decided screw copays the doctors and hospitals can just add it to the damn $300 payment plan, I spent just as much in copays as I did payments.  My pharmacy pill has tripled now, not including the over the counter drugs vitamin D, Fish oil, saline spray, eye drops (preservative fee and more expensive), chap stick, Sensodyne Toothpaste (expensive, 2 bottles a month), Act II (alchol free), biotene spray, dentek easy brush, gum soft picks, sensitive baby wipes, to name a few…..If I actually purchased and took everything the doctor’s wanted me too I would literally have to take a loan out.  Seriously going to have to figure out how in the hell I am going to afford everything, each month that passes the medical pills get larger, this is not just an issue I face but every other Cancer patient or chronic disease.  In my case I have both Stage IV Cancer and a chronic autoimmune disorder both are incurable and only treatable, which means $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.  I will definitely need to buy a lotto card tomorrow. 

Three pillows behind my back, lazy boy pulled up to desk, both tickle blankets in reach, pain in check, but new issues rearing up, don’t think my digestive system can handle the steak….time will tell.  Yes I have my lazy boy pulled up to my desk, it is a temp solution till I find a new lazy boy and a desk chair that is affordable and comfortable, for now I think I got it figured out, the body is currently happy as long as I don’t have to back up the stairs today.