Life Sucks

Hoping for a good night's rest way too much going on, really need to find an escape from this battle.  The body and brain are somewhat overwhelmed got to take a step back and get everything in order.  I am drowning in medical bills while the college foundation is whining because they want money.  Yeah I don't have money my pay check covers the basics, and the rest goes into keeping me alive and for medicine that somewhat keeps the pain away so I can work to pay to live.

The liver is still acting up I seriously think there is something going on that is not showing up on the scans, I asked the doc to run some blood test again since my last scan was this past December.  The GI doctors are going to do an Endoscope on either the 19th or 20th I will need to call on Monday to confirm and then I will need to find a driver.

I am crossing my fingers that my tax refund will be deposited in the middle of this month so I can pay the rest of my bills and be able to make much needed appointments with my dentist and ENT.  I am pass due for a teeth cleaning and will most like need some more work done, and I am hoping the ENT can do something about my swollen gland.  Both the ONC and Rheumatologist have basically stated I am just going to have to get use to the swollen gland.  Yeah your not the one trying to sleep and when you lay down it feels like your air way is being blocked, and your throat spasms when you drink to fast.

I have been trying to do some reasearch to find ways to combat this fatigue, I have found that several people are using Ritalin to help with the fatigue.  I figure what the hell its worth try cause right now struggling isn't quite the word for it.  Still struggling to find foods that will provide all the nutrients my body needs to function on a daily basis.  It is frustrating dealing with all the flare ups Sjogren's is throwing at me, dryness is killing me, my nose is the latest casualty of the war, my hands as always are taking a beating, numbness has stricken my finger tips, Raynauds Syndrome is attacking my hands and feet, my digestive system is out of whack, my eyes burn and my back always needs poping...lol  yeah yeah bitch bitch bitch...........I just wish there was such a thing as a vacation/break from Cancer, in reality there isn't, like many we can have times where we pretend to be normal but you are quickly brought back to reality from the pain and soreness.

I am hoping the Gi doctors will find the problem so I can get back to a somewhat normal schedule and life.  Because my body can't take much more and this rate by March I will be crawling up the stairs. I need nutrients, lets be honest I need a new body but unless the aliens come that ain't happening.  My plan for this weekend is sleeping in and a long hot bath if I had money it would be a bubble bath in a hot tub.!!