Trials and Tribulations

Trials and Tribulations of life, we have had childhoods that are hard to come by these days, being from a big close family for some of us both sides are huge, we had opportunities and experiences others have not, for that alone we should be thankful.  There is a saying it takes a village to raise a child and that is what we have experienced and that is what the next generation should experience.  We have learned invaluable lessons from not only our parents, our aunt’s and uncles as well as each other but from our Grandmothers for myself, Carrie, Rene, Tonya and Asheston we had two very strong grandmothers.

Being from a large family marriage, births and deaths are the norm sometimes yearly and sometimes in clusters.  We have seen the gambit of tragedies, injuries, and disease range from cancer to ALS that has taken the young and the old.  For some it was quick for others it was a long battle, luckily we were raised in a tough nonsense way and we are stubborn among other things.  Each and every time we face adversity we rally together lifting each other up and holding our head high. 

I often wonder why I was the one to get nailed with every screwed up gene both the Parker and Humphrey Family had to offer. ( For those friends of my family I was diagnosied in 2008 with Stage IV Triple Negative Breast Cancer that is extremely aggressive as well as an auto-immune disorder called Sjogren’s.)     Might be for the reason I am stubborn as hell just like my grandmothers, my mother, Sabrina (our cousin passed away from ALS @16) and Uncle Roland.   

I have come to realize that I have somehow became the person everyone turns to with health scares and questions and I reminder for those cousins on the Parker side of the importance of finding out if you carry the BRAC1 gene that causes Cancer on the Parker Side.   I first came to this realization of why I was still kicking when my preteen 2^nd cousin Sabrina asked me if her mom suffered when she passed and if it would hurt when she died.  I guess in her mind it was easier to ask someone that was going thru a terminal battle.   That was one of the hardest conversations I have ever had to have.  We find ourselves once again waiting to hearing the trumpets, I have a feeling just like when my mother passed and when Sabrina passed we will know instantly we didn’t need a call, you just knew.  I remember with in less than 5 minutes every household porch lights flicker on when my mom passed, for Sabrina I was in Raleigh when I woke up from a dead sleep went to the living room turned on my phone and Tonya called to let me know her suffering was over, her pain gone. 

Now we face a 3^rd “Boss Man” Uncle Roland who has been fiercely fighting cancer is at home in the neighborhood where he grew up surrounded by family and friends.  Kimberly, Bobbi and Kimberly are now in the position Carrie, Dad and I where in 2006 and where Noland, Zelma, Asheston, Rene & Tonya where in 2010.   There is no way to describe what it puts you through, caring for and watching your love fighting for there life.  But I can tell you that you will become even stronger when you reach the other side. I know Uncle Roland is proud as his daughters pamper him and shower with love, Aunt Bobbi as she has always been by his side thru thick and thin, and all his grandchildren as well as great-grandchildren.

Something to remember is that you may physically lose a loved one but you will never lose the mark they have left not only on the world but to indivudials hearts, mind, soul, and memories.   The strangest things will remind you of them, a smell, a touch will trigure a flood of memories and you know they will be watching over you.

As we rally yet once again this would be a good time to think about providing everyone’s children and grandchildren with some of village raising that made our generation what we are.  Today’s generation is too focused on technology and somehow common sense, creativity, reading, writing and artistic ability has disappeared.  The more kids learn about the different ways of doing things, different thoughts the better off they will be later in life.   As I look around the neighborhood it is kinda of funny we claimed as children we were not going to be living in the neighbor when we grow up.  Then we grow up for some of us explore college, other’s military and those that didn’t quite make it out, as time passed we realized how good we had it and we find ourselves slowly making our way back.  The best part of neighborhood is the woods, creek, fields and pond that provided us with endless hours of fun.   As Christy stated a few days a ago any beef or wrongs we may think a cousin/familt/friend has done it is time to forgive and forget.     Friends will come and go but family will always be there for you thru thick and thin.