Life is too short

Looking back I wish I would have spent more time learning to use a sewing machine, I remember finding a beginner's sewing machine made by singer at a yard sale when I was 7 and begging mom to buy it, I wished now that I had been more patient and learned to sew.  Well its never to late Mom's sewing machine is set up in the Doll Room ready for Carrie to feed the thread.  Also going to bring my first sewing machine if it still works.  My first project is one piece barbie bathing suits and swimming trunks.

I have learned thru my long battle with Stage IV Cancer that one can't take anything for granted.  I always pushed stuff off leaving my dolls stored away, sketching plans and pages of ideas waiting to be built.  Working with miniatures allows one to express themselves thru creativity, it is also an escape from the hustle and bustle of a stressful technology base society.   Funny what pushes to do what u have always loved with recently having RA flares and a reduction in my dexterity in my hands has also pushed me to do what I enjoy while I still can.  Somethings I can't something as simple as making a hanger using a paper clip something that takes my sister five minutes takes me hours if I can even do it.

I have decided to tell all the stories I have written using Playscale (aka 1:6 Barbie Scale) thru photo's basically comic book style with the little talk bubbles...There will also be some stop motion video's as well.   My dream is to turn the shed at home into a doll workshop/Museum with displays of my creations and hopefully others in the neighborhood.  I also mentioned to Tonya we could have our own mini town with a barbie scale railroad.  Having workshops/summer day camp where we could teach kids how to use there imagination in making doll clothing, furniture. repair/fixing hair, cleaning them etc.  Maybe charge kids to spend the day playing in the town of Wolf Swamp, getting them outside instead of hooked to electronics 24/7  http://heidyplayscalediorama.blogspot.com.  Electronics will still play a part but at least they will be using there mind and getting some sun.

For now with my new medicine I can have balance work, cancer, rest, & recreation, arts & crafts have become a great escape.  I am hoping that we have finally gotten the right med combo's so I can contiune to work and have some normalcy.  Even though in back of the mind u have a bad feeling especially not having an immune system for almost a month.  Not so sure that it will be good news in July, the pain I had before is gone but the issue it was suppose to be treating remains the same fingers swollen and lose of dexterity, but my body is aching allowing me for the first time in 8 months to actully get refreshing sleep.  The left right side in the usual suspect area isn't quite feeling right, as it always goes I can't quite put my finger on it but with my immune system being suppressed Liver Mets echo's in the back of my mind.

Then u have cancer friends that u meet online some dx before and some dx after passing away each week, the scary part is how quick it happens.  One day they are fine going and the next day a complication and they are gone.  Just last week one went in for a liver biopsy, the doctors needed to check to make sure it was still the same makeup such as triple negative (-,-,-) or the more popular (+,+,-) or (+,-,-), etc, she never made it out, something happen and she was gone.  Two others ran out of Chemo options, and within days and weeks of stopping treatment they two passed away way to early.

Sunday I will have to make a Cancer list appointments that need to made and prioritize them since it means $$$$$.  Another list for items that must be done for work, since the Fall Season will be here before you now it so I need a written check list to make sure everything is taken care of.  I will also have to make a daily schedule that I will have to start following after July 4th weekend.  Having a daily schedule that doesn't change is what is needed with someone with Sjogren's, but with me its a little more complicated since I have other issues like the little Stage IV cancer, fibro, and RA.   I guess we will soon see how my body will handle another season of work the good thing is the practices don't change every other day its all morning practices meaning a lot easier setting a consistent schedule.  My goal to actual work  40+ hours without exhausting one's self and still having energy to do my hobbies, go out to movies and take road trips.  That is the most frustrating not have the ability to do spare of hte moment things, since I have to factor in amount of energy needed and what I actual have.